Sipping on Chai this Sunday morning, birds chirping outside my window to the voice of spring, sitting here contemplating how to look at these few weeks passed by. I was on my walk this morning only to realize few things that have been lingering on my brain for quite some time now, a) Labeling b) Controlling
We were given both, a heart and a brain to use, equally in balance. Its so easy to turn to one side and neglect the other specially if that one favors in the direction we want to go in. What am I talking about? Relationships and labeling them. I have been making new friends, connecting with them, sharing life and it dawns on me, I don't know how to define this relationship: For human beings to understand a relationship, labeling is necessary. To explain a relationship words are needed and words somehow always tie a relationship down. Brain needs solid information, one that can fit in a square, one that can be defined, one that can be understood while Heart on the other side, knows no boundaries, know no limits or knows no territories. We sometimes cannot explain what connection we share with a person in a relationship or a friendship; sometimes I stand speechless when I try to define it, contain it, explain it. And yet somewhere between the two I am to find balance in knowing what I feel in my relationships for people and still explain them without confusing myself and others in it......Aaahhhhhh LIFE: such a delicate balance.
Controlling: That's been a whole new topic for me lately. So you know I am back from India now and have been looking for a job and finding a way to make it all happen once again. And in the midst of it all, I find myself going back to the same behavior patterns I had before I left San Francisco, learning and realizing: We are such creatures of habits. We go back to what feels comfortable and what feels safe to us, while we all know no such "concreteness" exists on this planet. It is merely an illusion.ex: safety of money, or beauty or even thinking the person you are with, is yours. Now that does not mean we throw everything away, NO, but to always remember that what we have in front of us right now, is not permanent. I am observing how much of my life is about controlling it to look a certain way, of how my life should look a "certain way" and only then I consider myself successful. In the midst of trying to become successful and accepted I somewhere along the line forget to live my life and love myself. Rat race makes us feel "less than". Competition makes us feel we are "not enough" no matter what we do we never will be unless we recognize our individuality and accept ourselves just the way we are. Bapu (my Guru) always says, would you ever compare Rose with a Lily? No right? They are two different flowers, then why would you compare yourself with another human being? If nature does not compete with one another why would we do such torture to our own kind? And yet we do it everyday..........All of that too is a delicate balance between "control" and "living"
So, where am I headed with all this? God knows. Hopefully a little less control of how my life looks and little more of living it with joy, faith and happiness, knowing I am taken care of no matter happens; realizing there is a fine balance between labeling and actually enjoying a relationship just the way it is. Not trying to control of how "things look" to myself and to the world. I guess everything in moderation, in balance, in awareness brings BLISS...:)
Love
