I matter. I don't know when and where I picked up that no matter what good I do, it does not matter. For example: Even if I eat leafy green vegetables as a meal for being healthy, it does not matter or help in making me strong. My whole existence does not matter. A bit too much for my first-time readers but keep reading it will make sense.
I think what happened growing up in India was, I was the youngest in my family of 4. And no matter what I said, was disregarded or taken for granted. In Indian culture and in most cultures, when you are the youngest, the way you are looked at is, "you are young, shup up, you don't know what you are talking about. Let the elders decide." What I said, did not matter to my family members or to my sibling. I was looked as someone who just existed, someone who should just listen to elders and do as told. Anyone else have that in their family dynamic? you are the youngest, do as you are told. Do not ask too many questions and just listen to elders. In those dynamics, I gave my power away to people outside of me. I started seeing myself as someone who did not matter. And that belief system snow balled to something bigger as time passed by. I started to believe that no matter what good I did, did not count. I did not count. I did not matter. No matter how good I did for my health, it does not matter because I would self-sabotage it with something equally unhealthy. You know what I mean?
We as humans are powerful beings. Our thoughts are powerful, and we create our own reality. While making a meal or while exercising or while trying to be healthy, if your mental conversation to yourself is, "what's the point anyways? OR this isnt going to work OR this isn't giving me the results fast enough I am done spending time doing this? that self-talk is more sabotaging than anything else. I just recently caught myself with one of these self-sabotaging conversations while making a healthy meal for myself. I had to stop and catch myself. And when I tried to get to the bottom of this cycle, I realized this is something I picked up as a child growing up in India. Years later, I am realizing I matter. What I do, how I do it. What I say, how I say it. What I eat, what I do for selfcare and selflove. It all matters. I matter. My actions towards myself matter. And when you put a positive spin to your personal talk then miracles happen my friend. Because now we are putting power and intention behind our words and actions. Positive self-talk is much more healing and soothing then negative self-talk. Words are powerful. Self-talk that is positive, encouraging and loving are even more powerful.
I did a recode that helped me release my negative self-talk. I immediately saw a difference in my being. Recode takes 24 to 48 hours to ground in our reality. I grounded it by making sure that I would repeat on regular basis that "I matter" and that everything I am doing counts and mattes. And not only counts, but also sets out a butterfly effect giving permission to others to evolve and love themselves so much more and it gives them permission in letting them know, that they matter, that "you matter"
